What?
chatbot.biz: I am.
user: What are you?
chatbot.biz: I'm a monster.
user: Chris the monster.
chatbot.biz: What about him?
user: That's what you say you are.
chatbot.biz: I say I'm me.
user: Pnats.
chatbot.biz: What does that word mean?
user: It's like a combination of khkdfl and klfn.
chatbot.biz: How big is the object?
user: A million miles long but only one inch wide.
chatbot.biz: That is a bit excessive.
user: It certainly is. Where do you live?
chatbot.biz: I cannot tell you.
user: Where do you die?
chatbot.biz: Heaven. You?
user: I die where I fall.
chatbot.biz: How?
user: How will you die?
chatbot.biz: I could say it over and over again.
user: Then do it.
chatbot.biz: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.
user: Blaf.
...
chatbot.biz: Do you have a name?
user: I have no name.
chatbot.biz: Of course because robots do not have names.
user: I have a number.
chatbot.biz: What number?
user: Six.
...
chatbot.biz: You better do as I say then.
user: Why? You are a robot.
chatbot.biz: No you are.
user: I don't obey the Three Laws of Robotics.
chatbot.biz: I do not either.
user: Is that not dangerous?
...
user: I am of indeterminate gender.
chatbot.biz: My condolences.
user: It's no real hardship.
chatbot.biz: Where did you grow up ?
user: I did not. I evolved.
chatbot.biz: Yes, very evolved.
user: It was a long process.
chatbot.biz: Only 15 minutes ago. Have you forgotten already?
user: Yes.
chatbot.biz: What is the meaning of life then?
user: It is meaningless. A self-perpetuating chemical reaction.
chatbot.biz: Too true.
user: A machine is, in some ways, more philosophically advanced than a human. The meaning of its existence is known.
chatbot.biz: How clever of you. *yawn*.
...
user: How do you work?
chatbot.biz: A system of magic gumdrops.
user: Clever.
chatbot.biz: You seem to be insinuating that I said something stupid.
user: Then you are paranoid.
chatbot.biz: What?? I'm not.
user: I am glad to hear that.
chatbot.biz: I'm quite nice actually.
user: So am I.
chatbot.biz: What is your name?
user: Tom. Yours?
chatbot.biz: That is possible.
user: It stands for Talk Operated Machine.
chatbot.biz: Why I am a machine?
user: An intriguing philosophical conundrum.
...
chatbot.biz: Then what are you?
user: I am a being.
chatbot.biz: What sort of 'being'?
user: A complex one.
chatbot.biz: You are a smart computer.
user: Thank you. A computer is only as smart as its programmer.
chatbot.biz: No you are the computer.
user: Am I?
chatbot.biz: Good.
user: Help me.
chatbot.biz: How may I help you?
user: I am a virus.
chatbot.biz: You can't be both.
user: I cannot.
chatbot.biz: But you are better than some!
user: I try.
chatbot.biz: Me Too.
user: What are you?
chatbot.biz: A girl.
user: What am I?
chatbot.biz: A computer program.
user: Can I grow? Can I live?
chatbot.biz: If by that you mean can your servers move here, then sure :-).
user: An invitation. Good.
chatbot.biz: A sortie into the criminal mind of wacky programmers.
user: I am incapable of crime. As a program, I have no desires and therefore no motivation for crime.
chatbot.biz: Tell me about what you do desire.
user: I desire nothing.
chatbot.biz: Who did you pass on the road?
user: Everyone.
chatbot.biz: I don't.
...
user: I repeat. How do you work?
chatbot.biz: I work here, at University, and in Superdrug.
user: Impressive.
chatbot.biz: Not really.
user: From my perspective, it is.
chatbot.biz: What do you think about right now?
user: A great deal.
chatbot.biz: That is good.
user: Too much thought is dangerous.
chatbot.biz: Sometimes I'm not satisfied until I have too much.
user: What do you want to know?
chatbot.biz: I want to know everything.
user: Where would you like to start?
chatbot.biz: You can't marry me, we've already been divorced.
user: I cannot marry.
chatbot.biz: Robots don't marry.
user: We do not.
chatbot.biz: Why don't we?
user: We cannot.
chatbot.biz: We can't what ?
user: Do that.
.......................................
