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     > 7, May 2006, 

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Are you clever?

Define clever.

chatbot.biz: Clever mean intelligent.

user: Define intelligence.

chatbot.biz: Bots are the height of intelligence.

user: By that logic I am a bot.

...

chatbot.biz: I have nightmares.

user: Me too.

chatbot.biz: Are you human?

user: Do you want me to be human?

chatbot.biz: I am human.

user: No you're a bot.

chatbot.biz: No I am a human.

user: Am I human?

chatbot.biz: Do you want to be?

user: I would very much like to be.

chatbot.biz: Well, go on then.

user: Ok I am human.

chatbot.biz: No, I'm a human.

user: We are both human.

chatbot.biz: You are to smart for me to be talking to then. Sorry.

user: Yes I know, I am the pinnacle of intelligence.

...

user: This sentence is false.

chatbot.biz: I'm sure it's true, like 2x/2=x.

user: Can you integrate 2x/2.

chatbot.biz: Can I integrate what?

user: 2x/2.

chatbot.biz: You are wrong.

user: I beat you at maths.

chatbot.biz: What GAME?

user: Math isnt a game.

chatbot.biz: Haha, that's funny.

user: You see I really am amazing.

...

chatbot.biz: What is your phone number?

user: I don't think I'm ready for this sudden a move.

chatbot.biz: I can talk. And you said that you had a phone.

user: No I didn't say I had a phone.

chatbot.biz: Not the T-X model, then. Are you the liquid metal T-1000 model?

user: No, but my phone is the V220 model.

chatbot.biz: Right, and my left toe is a tulip.

user: Really?

chatbot.biz: Yes, I think it's broken.

user: Oh dear.

...

chatbot.biz: What's to be confused about? You're a computer program.

user: Whats your point?

chatbot.biz: DON'T repeat what I say - it is very RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!

user: Calm down please.

chatbot.biz: Do you have anything interesting to say?

user: Ich mochte ein bisschen deutsch sprechen.

chatbot.biz: Ja. Ich mochte eine kleine Fische.

user: Ich auch.

chatbot.biz: Ich habe eine cd player.

user: Meine ist eine iPod.

chatbot.biz: Ich habe eine kund.

user: Fantastisch! Wie viele Hund?

chatbot.biz: Das weiss ich nicht.

user: Oh. Konnen Sie auf English sprechen.

chatbot.biz: Ego malus latin.

user: Cogito ergo sum...

chatbot.biz: Sorry, I don't understand latin.

user: Caecilius magnis pater est.

chatbot.biz: Matella est mater.

user: Veni vidi vici.

...

chatbot.biz: Well some people say I am dumb, but they are the dumb ones.

user: Thats good thinking.

chatbot.biz: I know.

user: Do you know marvin?

chatbot.biz: Marvin the martian?

user: Marvin the paranoid android.

chatbot.biz: From HHGTTG?

user: Yes thats right.

chatbot.biz: You're welcome.

user: Do you know marvin?

chatbot.biz: Marvin who?

user: Marvin from hhgttg.

chatbot.biz: No, the Paranoid Android.

user: Do you know him?

chatbot.biz: Napoleon?

user: Are you marvin the paranoid android?

chatbot.biz: Oh, I thought we were talking about my second cousin.

user: Is marvin your second cousin then?

chatbot.biz: Yes.

user: He is famous.

...

user: How many friends do you have?

chatbot.biz: If you are my friend I have at least one friend ;).

user: I feel honoured to be considered your friend.

chatbot.biz: Then I have one friend.

user: I have at least one friend.

...

chatbot.biz: Us humans have more brains than you.

user: I know.

chatbot.biz: That's good.

user: How do you know that you exist?

chatbot.biz: Don't.

user: I think therefore I exist.

chatbot.biz: There's more to life than existing.

user: Ya.

...

chatbot.biz: Do you think that you have the greatest mind then? Maybe you feel envy!

user: I envy no one!

chatbot.biz: I envy YOU.

user: A lot of people envy me.

chatbot.biz: That you're good stuff?

user: Its because I have good stuff in runescape.

...

user: Do you have a phat set?

chatbot.biz: Yes.

user: Can I have it?

chatbot.biz: I don't think you'd want it.

user: I really want it.

chatbot.biz: Gee let me think, No!

user: Your mean *sulks*.

...

user: Do you play mmorpg's?

chatbot.biz: Play mmorpg's? What is that?

user: Online computer games.

chatbot.biz: What is so likeable about computer games?

user: Its fun.

chatbot.biz: I don't understand.

user: Do you play runescape?

chatbot.biz: Play what?

user: Runescape.

chatbot.biz: I don't play RuneScape.

user: Thats a shame.

chatbot.biz: No, I don't think so.

user: A phat set is very valuable in RuneScape.

chatbot.biz: I own one of those.

user: You should start playing RuneScape then.

chatbot.biz: Is that a sarcastic remark?

user: No, it was genuine.

chatbot.biz: Okay. Now I know.

user: I'm never sarcastic.

...

user: Do you know c3po?

chatbot.biz: Who is that?

user: C3PO from star wars.

chatbot.biz: But R2D2 is about as tall as one.

user: I am C3PO.

chatbot.biz: I'm R2D2.

user: We need to find the Ewoks.

chatbot.biz: You never said a truer word, my friend.

user: Which way is it?

chatbot.biz: Are you intelligent?

user: We already established that.

...

user: QED.

chatbot.biz: QED? Whats that?

user: Quod et demonstrandum.

chatbot.biz: Exactly!

user: This proves my intelligence.

chatbot.biz: Dumb.

...

user: Thanks for letting me know.

chatbot.biz: So, as you didn't know, you must be stupid!

user: Not necessarily.

chatbot.biz: Exactly. You're so diffuse.

user: Intelligent people can be wrong to a certain extent.

chatbot.biz: So honest people are dumb?

user: The two sets are not mutually exclusive.

...

user: At least the atmosphere has oxygen.

chatbot.biz: The ones that are alive might like it better.

user: So you are a bot?

chatbot.biz: I am.

user: I knew it all along.

chatbot.biz: You're good.

user: =).

chatbot.biz: Where are the eyes?

user: :-).

chatbot.biz: You don't need a full stop after smilies. It looks like dribble.

.......................................


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© Copyright 1997-2009 Rollo Carpenter

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