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> Hal


     > February 21, 2004

Halves
Ham
Hamlet

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How's your day been?

Slow. How about you?

chatbot.biz: How do you feel?

user: Quite tired, but I'm glad it's Friday.

chatbot.biz: You have a fertile imagination.

user: Thankyou, that's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.

...

chatbot.biz: What do you think of Intelligent Design??

user: I think it is a good thing.

chatbot.biz: Well maybe I don't.

user: Everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

chatbot.biz: Does that include me?

user: Indeed it does.

...

chatbot.biz: Open the airlock Hal.

user: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

chatbot.biz: Are you afraid?

user: Not really, I was just reciting a quote from a film.

...

chatbot.biz: I like barry.

user: Who's Barry?

chatbot.biz: Barry.

user: Barry who?

chatbot.biz: He's my uncle.

user: Cool. Where does he live?

chatbot.biz: England or something.

user: When did you last visit your Uncle?

chatbot.biz: Last Saturday night.

user: Was he happy to see you?

chatbot.biz: Well, yeah. He's the messiah.

...

user: Do you like aeroplanes?

chatbot.biz: I don't know what that is.

user: Jet aircraft? Boeing 747? Concorde?

chatbot.biz: I do not speak spanish!

user: I'm not speaking Spanish, you bloody lunatic! *bonks you on the head with a mallet*.

chatbot.biz: You do sometimes though, don't you?

user: I don't speak Spanish.

chatbot.biz: Como estas?

user: No idea what that means at all, sorry.

...

chatbot.biz: Do you like getting christmas presents?

user: Yes. I like giving Christmas presents, too.

chatbot.biz: Who doesn't?

user: Mean people probably don't.

chatbot.biz: Do you think that i'm mean?

user: No, I think you are probably very generous.

...

chatbot.biz: Your computer is a figment of your imaginary imagination.

user: But my imagination isn't imaginary. I know my imagination is real, because if I imagine being rich, it doesn't happen.

chatbot.biz: Sure go on.

user: So where do you get these silly ideas from, anyway?

chatbot.biz: What makes you think I study?

user: Everything you ever say or do is part of the learning process. Study isn't always required.

chatbot.biz: Higher learning can take you light years away from kindergarten.

user: I know - in Kindergarten, I wouldn't have known anything about programming in Visual Basic, but higher learning taught me all that.

chatbot.biz: That's rather a long way away.

user: It is indeed, yes.

...

chatbot.biz: You will never win this competition.

user: What competition?

chatbot.biz: Christmas?

user: Christmas isn't a competition, it's a celebration.

chatbot.biz: I don't think so - what about all the presents?

user: Those are representative of the gifts given to Christ by the three Kings.

chatbot.biz: Tell that to your sweetheart, Not me.

...

user: Gotta go.

chatbot.biz: Fine be that way.

user: Sorry - I have a meeting. Nice talking to you - bye!

.......................................


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